


That Would Be Enough

by SkylandMountain1013



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post 5X13, really these babies are hurting, they need to sort through some stuff to move forward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 09:29:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14017284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkylandMountain1013/pseuds/SkylandMountain1013
Summary: He knows how her anger manifests. It’s deliberate words and thought out movements. He can count on one hand the number of times he’s heard her yell.





	That Would Be Enough

It’s possible that the team is making him more exhausted than his condition is. 

He knows they mean well- but they have a world to save. They have more important things to focus on. (He tries to ignore the voice inside that says he doesn’t deserve their concern.)

And so he refuses Simmons’s request for daily physicals, he doesn’t visit YoYo as much as he should, he finds himself snapping at Daisy more often than not, and May- they’ve talked but haven’t had a conversation in days. 

They always move in synchrony, pushing and pulling as needed, and this is no different. She silently takes the space that he’s offering. 

Her distance settles as an ever present ache behind his eyes- he would like to do nothing more than go to her, spend every last minute worshipping her as she deserves. 

But he’s promised himself to spend whatever time he has left protecting her from the pain she’s so determined to run full speed into. 

It’s late when he finally turns in, padding to his room after changing clothes (he ignores that his sweatpants hang looser on his frame than they did even a week ago) and brushing his teeth. Melinda is waiting for him- leaning against the wall, arms crossed. She’s wearing a soft sleep shirt and boxers, but is humming with enough energy that she’s ready to take on an entire Kree army. 

“Hi,” he says, putting as much lightness into his tone as he can muster. He is just so tired. 

“Simmons said you skipped your check in again.”

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t need constant monitoring.”

The fold in her arms gets tighter. “You don’t know that. Simmons might be able to-“

He cuts her off. “Might be able to what? Determine that I’m still good and dying? I’m okay without that information on a daily basis, thanks.” His exhaustion is morphing into adrenaline. Maybe a proper fight is what he needs right now. 

Melinda’s jaw sets as she looks straight at him. He knows how her anger manifests. It’s deliberate words and thought out movements. He can count on one hand the number of times he’s heard her yell. 

“Did it ever cross your mind that this isn’t completely about you, Phil?” She doesn’t try to hide the bite in her words. 

He shakes his head. “You’re wrong.”

“You fucked up.” She moves for the first time since he entered the room. “You knew for months. And said nothing. What was the plan, Phil? We all find out when you die? Not good enough.” 

He notices the slight waver in her voice and fights the urge to comfort her. It is easier to be angry. 

“It might have been better than everyone treating me like I’m about to break,” he spits, voice rising. “Fitz looks like his puppy has died, Daisy won’t let me do simple recon without someone babysitting, and you-“ He stops himself. 

“Me, what?” She steps close enough to reach out and touch. 

He rubs at his temples. “Nothing. I told you, don’t waste your time.”

Anger flashes in her eyes. “You don’t get to be a fucking martyr. Sorry. I won’t let you.”

He laughs, short and bitter. “That’s not your decision to make.”

“Bullshit!,” she roars. If anyone else is awake, they now have full knowledge of what’s going on. “You pulled my ass back into reality after Bahrain. You got me back into the field. You have crossed dimensions and fought demons and upended galaxies and it’s time for us to do the same for you.”

“This is different.” As fast as it arrived, he feels the adrenaline start to leave his system. The ache in his bones creeps back in. 

“You’re right. The stakes are higher.” Melinda grabs his wrist. “If every avenue is explored and it’s not enough, that’s one thing. But to ask me to just step back and wait for the inevitable? I don’t know how you’d expect me to live with myself.” 

He feels a familiar sting at the corner of his eyes and looks away, biting his lip. 

Her hand snakes up to his cheek, turning him back towards her. Her eyes bore into his- they’re full of frustration, determination, and something else he stubbornly refuses to identify. 

“I know you think you’re making things easier by doing this,” she says. The venom is gone from her words. 

He bows his head and her hand slides through his hair. 

“Let me hold you up for a while. Please.” Her voice vibrates against his scalp. 

He lets out a shaky breath. “Okay.”

Once he’s had a minute to compose himself, he straightens. “Sorry for the twenty questions you’re going to get from Daisy when you leave,” he says. 

“I’m staying here tonight.”

“You don’t have to-“ he starts. 

She’s quick to jump in. “Phil.”

“Right.” He pauses for a beat. “I’d like that.” 

She heads for the light switch while he crawls under the covers. 

He hears the bed creak as she slides in next to him. For a moment, he considers gathering her to him- wrapping himself around her and letting them soothe each other’s demons for a few hours. 

He decides against it. 

Instead, he rolls on his side facing away from her, backs nearly touching. He scoots his foot back to tuck neatly between her shins. 

She reaches back and rests her hand on his thigh. 

It’s enough.

**Author's Note:**

> So a friend and I were talking about how while Phil and Melinda are overdue a kiss, they’re really overdue a proper fight first. There’s a lot to unpack between them right now. 
> 
> Title is from a Hamilton song.


End file.
